"Do we want to adopt domestically or internationally? Do we want a child of the same race or of a different race? Or does it matter?"

The following are reasons that people choose domestic adoption:

Access
Domestic adoption, by definition, occurs within this country. If you adopt domestically, you need not worry about the immigration, the political climate in the source country, or the challenges and vicissitudes of international travel.

Identity
Aware that adoptees have questions about their identities, many families are reluctant to adopt cross-culturally. Although you will have a different heritage from their child, being American-born will be part of your "shared fate."

Information
When an adoption occurs in this country, there is often the opportunity to have a great deal of information about they birthfamily. This is less likely--although not impossible--with international adoption.

Openness
Those prospective parents who want to have some contact with their child's birthparents will seek domestic adoption. There are some domestic adoptions that do not involve meeting or talking with the birthparents, but there are few international adoptions that do offer these features.

Medical
With domestic adoption parents can often get extensive medical information. This information is usually less accessible in international adoption. In addition, there are certain health problems, such as Hepatitis B infection, that are more common in international than in domestic adoptions.

Age of Child
Those who wish to adopt a newborn baby, choose domestic adoption. Although there are some adoptions of three and four month olds, most children adopted internationally are six months of age or older.

The following are reasons that people decide to adopt internationally:

Multiculturalism
Faced with the losses of infertility, some families welcome the opportunity to "do something different"--to have a multi-cultural family.

Distance
Some prospective adoptive parents want to put distance between themselves and the birthparents. Frightened by "horror stories" they read the media, or uncomfortable with openness in adoption, they feel that they will be more secure and comfortable knowing that the birthfamily is very far away. However, it is important for you to remember that the adoption "horror stories" are very few and far between. Remember that just as newspapers report on the rare plane that crashes and not on all that land safely, so is it with adoption: the "crashes" make the news.

A Tie to a Country or Culture
Some families have a special feeling for another country or culture. They may have lived there or had family from that nation. In considering adoption, it feels natural to them to turn to a land for which they have such affection. Others may have a curiosity about and fascination with a particular country and turn to it for that reason.

Gender
Prospective adoptive parents who have a strong gender preference will often turn to international adoption because gender preference can often be honored.

The following are reasons people decide to adopt a child of the same race:

Privacy
Adoption is not a secret, but it can be private. When a family adopts a child of the same race, their privacy can be preserved in public settings (i.e. strangers will be unlikely to identify them as an adoptive family and ask intrusive questions).

Identity
Being adopted is a complicated and challenging experience. Aware that adoptees struggle with questions of identity, many parents feel that their children will have fewer questions if they are of the same race as their parents (and siblings). This is especially true for families who live in homogeneous communities where a child of another race is unlikely to have friends, teachers, and other role models of the same race. Acceptance in the family, the community and the religious group. In considering race in adoption, many prospective parents think about how their families, their community and their religious group will regard a child. Some conclude that although they themselves would welcome the opportunity to parent a child of another race, those close to them--or in their environment--would be less welcoming, comfortable or accepting.

© Ellen Sarasohn Glazer, LICSW