Making the Psychological Transition to Adoptive Parenthood

• Pick a pediatrician/family practitioner

• Pick a developmental pediatrician/expert with post-institution child (PIC)

• Have child's medical files/videotape reviewed before taking referral

• Set up community resource network before you go; contact county special child health services, child study team, occupational therapist, mature babysitter/respite caregiver, parents who've already adopted

• Join a support group for adoptive families from your source (see our adoption resources)

• Prepare family members for adoption-related issues to help them transition to adopted relatives

• Prepare the baby/child's room

• Buy the necessary equipment (toys should be suitable for children below the chronological age of child from institution (don't overstimulate)

• Talk with your clergy (acceptance of adopted child/family)

• Learn how to parent (it's not innate)--replace reward and punishment method and learn basic filial therapy techniques

• Read adoption literature specific to orphanage impact; attend workshops; join organizations (see our articles and books on adoption and adoption resources)

• How will your role change? How will your time be used?

• What new chores will you have? What assistance will you need?

• If you're married, how will you determine who does what tasks?

• How will your marriage change? What are you willing to let go of for a while? What do you need to hold onto for sanity?

• You deserve a baby/child shower, too!

• Freeze food now; adopting is just as (maybe more) exhausting as giving birth

• Set up support network with family and friends before you leave (who can give you respite to take a shower, sleep, eat in the initial few weeks)

• Find a babysitter with experience with a difficult child

REMEMBER, BEING PREPARED HELPS TO ESTABLISH REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AND NECESSARY TOOLS TO AVOID POST-ADOPTION DEPRESSION AND RESENTMENT OF ADOPTED CHILD

Credits: Adoption Resource Center
Jewish Family Service of Southern Middlesex County
517 Ryders Lane
East Brunswick, NJ 08816
(908) 257-4100